A good reminder, we do have other options!
Wow, I left Spain a week ago today. The hills in northern Spain were green and alive. The Spanish people alive, passionate. I formed new friendships, people from around the world. My Camino was done in the rain, which I learned to love. I scattered ashes at the end of the world — Finisterre. It was magical, and the skies clear, the sun setting in the background. As I assimilate everything, and begin to integrate it all, I open to the ways in which my inner landscape has changed. I came home to a changed landscape here in Idaho, and while I missed fall entirely, I see the beauty that surrounds me.
I’m back, and available for private consulting. Plan for the inevitable. Know your options. I’m here!
Here’s to wishing everyone a happy Holiday season. Remember to BREATHE. Find JOY. BE open to CHANGE. LOVE big!
NY Times (November 16, 2019) article. I highly recommend taking a close look at your options, should the need arise. The “typical” intervention may not be the one for you. Investigate before making any decisions. This is your HEART!
YES!! Another fantastic line up!
For all of you in Marin County, or nearby…this panel looks great!
Excellent discussion here!
This article explains the difference between two common choices. However, there are more. Stay tuned for updates. Check out my Resource page. Also, please feel free to email me should you have questions or need immediate assistance.
I witnessed firsthand a situation where a grandmother was refused further engagement with her young grandchildren. Their mother made the decision based on an unresolved conflict that had nothing whatsoever to do with her children. It is complex, and I must ask: Who are the ones affected the most?
The following is a story I wrote, as a tribute to my mother, Vee. It was immediately following her cancer diagnosis and was published in The Sun, a weekly paper here in the Wood River Valley. I know people now who are dealing with a cancer diagnosis and feel compelled to post it. May you all live in the mystery and know that you are loved.
Looking from the Outside In: Living in The Mystery
by Kate Riley
“Kate, the cancer has spread to the bones…”
My mom spoke softly into the phone. I stared at the hills outside my bedroom window just three blocks from her home. It wasn’t long before tears pooled in my lower lids. We decided we would get together as a family and join Dr. Tom Archie for further discussion. While Dr. Archie gave my mom some options, I watched her intently. She wasn’t going to have anything to do with medical treatment even if it meant retarding the growth of nine malignant lesions. This was a choice I would honor.
“I just want everyone to let me die.” In my years of volunteering for Hospice, both in California and Idaho, I have heard these words before. My reactions have ranged from stunned, to mildly surprised, to supportive. I sometimes found myself speechless; searching for the right response or denying the very meaning. I often responded with, “What do you need right now?”
This time was different, very different. It was my mother who stood before me in her pink bathrobe and said, “I just want everyone to let me die. I’m finished here. I’ve had a good life and I have no regrets.” The words flowed. She knows something I don’t know. She is living in the mystery. What I do know is my mother is making plans for a good death and our family is supporting her to make that happen. We’re all in this together.
A hospital bed was delivered and set up in her bedroom. We’ve named it “The Royal Roost” and it faces a new direction so she has a different view of her property; affording her a new perspective at a time when she is fully present for her own death. I tiptoe up to her bedroom door and check on her frequently, just as I did with my newborn son; such an intimate and loving interlude.
She is welcoming friends and delights in short visits. If someone has difficulty supporting her in her acceptance, she holds up a piece of paper with the words written: AS FOR ME, GET OVER IT! My mom still has her sense of humor.
Even with the pain, excruciating at times, it hasn’t stopped her from expressing gratitude for her life, for her beautiful home and meditation garden, and the people in her life. It hasn’t stopped her from choosing what she will wear during the cremation – a white silk robe. The cremation container has been picked up, which will be collaged and then stored until it’s needed. My mother will take part in the artwork. She is known for creating vision boards and holding collage workshops. I can’t wait to see what she does with this one! In the meantime, my heart is breaking—this too is part of it all.
I love you, Mom.
BBC – interview with 3 vicars. God, where is my dad? The Reverend John D. Riley would have loved this!
September 7, 2019
“You need a village to help someone die. Greg Wise
Learn about a feature film that traces the story of a family’s conflict and ultimate resolution as their father reaches the end of life.
Insights into the little-studied realm of last words.
A new study finds hospice professionals overwhelmingly support using medical cannabis for hospice patients.
Dr. Ann Ming Yeh is an Clinical Associate Professor at Stanford University in Pediatric Gastroenterology and practices at Lucile Packard Children’s Hospital and California Pacific Medical Center.
Stefan Friedrichsdorf is the medical director of the Department of Pain Medicine, Palliative Care and Integrative Medicine at Children’s Minnesota, Minneapolis / St. Paul, one of the largest and most comprehensive programs of its kind in the country.
Learn how to use breathwork to clear blocks and upgrade your inner state.
An Intimate Journey Guided by Master Spiritual Teachers in Sedona’s Transformative Vortex Power & Healing Energy.
We are looking for people to join Recompose and help us build a sustainable, long-lasting company.
Many families are pleasantly surprised to find that children tend to resume their regular activities and interests quite quickly after learning a parent or sibling may die.
Anderson closed his show with a moving tribute to his mother, Gloria Vanderbilt, on his first “Anderson Cooper 360” following her death on Monday. Hear what Anderson had to say.
A doctor advocates for a more humane approach to end-of-life care.
A retired pastor and current hospice worker shares important observations.
My dad was a smart guy, but not so smart as to avoid being hoodwinked by those who drafted the contract for my mom’s long-term care insurance policy.
Washington is the first state in the nation to legalize composting as an alternative to burying or cremating human remains, offering “natural organic reduction” including composting.
On Dying. This may be the most important conversation you ever have.
- Daughter creates beauty in the midst of grieving her mother’s deathFebruary 17, 2020 - 6:03 pm
Wow! This artwork is incredible! https://www.wral.com/beauty-in-grief-durham-woman-creates-100-days-of-art-from-her-mother-s-funeral-flowers/18933153/?fbclid=IwAR2QfRACEVGRNta41i1zsXb5heLYBJpylPWHhlzzpmW2YVHajBNOOkGeP9A#.XkTpDBLeido.facebook
- Green BurialFebruary 5, 2020 - 6:02 pm
A good reminder, we do have other options! The Emotional Wallop of My Friend’s Green Burial
- I’m back!November 17, 2019 - 5:38 pm
Greetings! Wow, I left Spain a week ago today. The hills in northern Spain were green and alive. The Spanish people alive, passionate. I formed new friendships, people from around the world. My Camino was done in the rain, which I learned to love. I scattered ashes at the end of the world — Finisterre. […]